Thankful For the Gift of Not Too Late
by Riathe Mai
Summary: E/O Drabble Challenge-THANKS. Spoilers for Season 8. AU Speculation fic. Summary: Sam's been so…off, so detached and unaffected. Sometimes, it's really hard for Dean to shake the feeling that he just doesn't care he's back. Then something happens, and Sam's reaction opens Dean's eyes to the possibility that things are not as he believed them to be.


**E/O Challenge:** Thanks

_**Thanks**:-n: a grateful feeling or acknowledgment of a benefit, favor, or the like, expressed by words or otherwise_

**Spoilers: **This takes place at some point—hopefully sooner rather than later—in season eight, after A Little Slice of Kevin.

**A/N1: **I actually started writing this before we got our word of the week, and I was three sections/chapters into it when the email came. At that time, I didn't think there was any way I was going to make that word fit with this. I thought about holding onto it for next week—maybe that word would fit better—but I really didn't want to do that. So, I decided to try something a little different—sort of bending the rules as it were. I hope no one minds. :-) This is a hexadrabble—a drabble in six parts. The first letter of each part spells out THANKS. (Quite surprising to me, I did manage to make the word work.)

**A/N2: **Thanks to Kailene for letting me bounce ideas off of her for a name for this beast—I swear they are easier to write than name, sometimes.

**Summary:** Sam's been so…off, so detached and unaffected. Sometimes, it's really hard for Dean to shake the feeling that he just doesn't care he's back. Then something happens, and Sam's reaction opens Dean's eyes to the possibility that things are not as he believed them to be.

~~~~~~~~~~SPN~~~~~~~~~~

**Thankful For the Gift of Not Too Late  
**

**T**he explosion was spectacular, and Dean's ears were ringing as he pushed aside the debris and stood.

"Sam!"

Desperately, he scanned the room until he found him.

Sam knelt in the corner, bent over so far his forehead touched the floor. His arms circled his waist as though holding in something vital.

More alarming was the sound he was making, a low keen of such pain it chilled Dean's blood.

Hands shaking, Dean searched him, looking for an injury worthy of that sound, but finding none.

Then he heard Sam's voice:

"I can't keep watching you die. I just can't"

~~~~~~~~~~SPN~~~~~~~~~~

**H**eart clenching, Dean lifted Sam's face and gasped at the sight. A mask of profound anguish transformed the familiar features: eyes empty and bleeding tears, shock, and loss like an arterial wound.

The litany continued, sobbing out of him with the threat of hysterics.

"I c-can't do this anymore. You k-keep…dying and…and I… I just… I can't…I can't… Not again."

Dean's gut clenched. This was the guy he'd accused of leaving him to die?

The brother he'd vilified within ten minutes of their reunion?

It still hurt, but maybe he had it wrong.

He drew Sam close. "It's okay, Sammy."

~~~~~~~~~~SPN~~~~~~~~~~

**A**t one time, those words had been enough to put Sam at ease, but they no longer had that innate power.

Sam shook his head. Where he once would have clung to Dean for all he was worth, he now pulled away; twisting that long body to find purchase on the floor, to scramble back as though he wasn't pinned between two immovable forces.

The wall and Dean Winchester.

Well, Dean wasn't going to let Sam run away from him again simply because Sam was afraid that 'away from' might be better than 'with'.

That freakin' wall would yield first.

~~~~~~~~~~SPN~~~~~~~~~~

**N**ot sure he would be able to hold Sam if he really wanted to get away, Dean just wrapped his arms around the shaking shoulders and pressing the bowed head into the crook of his neck.

But still those anguished words didn't stop: "I can't. I can't. I can't," over and over again like a vow.

"Come on, Sammy; don't," he pleaded.

He didn't know what else to do. Sammy had left the building, and short of shaking him, Dean didn't have a clue how to get him back. So he did all he could do. He held him tight.

~~~~~~~~~~SPN~~~~~~~~~~

**"K**nock, knock, Sammy. You in there?"

Dean didn't know how long he'd held him before Sam went quiet. One second, he was shaking and tense, and the next he was a heavy weight in Dean's arms.

He stirred at the sound of Dean's voice, his fingers fisting in Dean's jacket. "I thought you were dead," he uttered.

Dean looked at the rubble around them and scoffed. "This? Hardly a scratch."

"You stabbed 'im and…he…exploded and...you were gone."

"What?" But then he realized. Sam wasn't talking about this explosion, in this warehouse, right now.

He was talking about a year ago.

~~~~~~~~~~SPN~~~~~~~~~~

**S**uch feelings of betrayal and disappointment, Dean had been carrying around with him. How could Sam not have looked for him? How could he have just walked away?

He'd almost convinced himself that Sam had been relieved to have finally had his chance at normal; that he'd moved on without a backwards glance; that he forgotten about him.

Seeing him now, though, Dean knew that wasn't the case. Sam had hurt and suffered, too.

Dean suddenly realized, he was ready to hear Sam's side of the story; and he offered a small prayer of thanks that it wasn't too late.

**_FIN_**


End file.
